The isms of running a boat club
Weather permitting, our usual weekend training regime involves water sessions on the lake at Blessington, which is about 30km south of Dublin. Getting there tends to be something of an ordeal, as we struggle to accommodate people into the limited pool of cars that we have available. The amount of cars available varies from week to week, which is not ideal. Drivers feel coerced into to drive to training as they are required to provide lifts for others; sometimes on occasions that, for one reason or another, they would prefer not to. This is further compounded by the fact that drivers were not being reimbursed for the costs of their petrol, which when it involves two 60km round trips every weekend, soon mounts up and places an additional, financial, burden on the drivers. This all led to a rather heated debate as to the best way to organize lifts; and if, and how, the drivers should be compensated.
The end result was this terrific email, put together by Nilgiri where he outlined the various ideologies that could be adopted by the club.
SOCIALISM: You have 4 seats. You take four people. The richest member pay 10Euro; the poorest member has their seat subsidised by the Club.
COMMUNISM: You have 4 seats. The Club takes your car and gives you a lift for free.
FASCISM: You have 4 seats. The Club takes your car and charges you 2.50 Euro for a lift.
NAZISM: You have four seats but it doesn’t matter because only Max and Mathias get to drive, the rest of us take cattle cars.
BUREAUCRATISM: You’re still filling out paperwork on Monday morning.
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: The drivers collude and refuse to take anyone for less than 50Euro, which works but by February no one can afford to go. Therefore the drivers start offering “free” rides on credit. The driver’s buy Ferraris and start selling “seat” backed Club securities; no one asks any questions. By Uni Champs everyone is leveraged to the gills. The bubble bursts. We all walk to Nationals.
SURREALISM: The Treasurer suggests we take the bus.
