We’re in Week Eight by now, which means that the Freshers have been here for two months, and everyone else has been here for at least a year and two months, so buy now everybody should have copped on to some of the rules. However, some people appear to be struggling with the basics. So just in case you’ve thus far blithely managed to ignored the ettiquitte of university life, let me spell out a few things:
1. Get off your bike on the College Green side of Regent House and WALK your bike through Front Arch.
- Do not cycle through the Arch. Security will have your head if you try to, as it’s bloody dangerous. Just get off the bike, and get over it.
2. Walk on the right.
- That means keep right on the stairs of the Arts Building and going through the right side of the double doors. Very simple; keep right. There are signs on the stairwells to that very affect. Adhering to this simple guideline stops pileups at doors and allows for free moment on the stairs. If I find you coming down the stairs on the left, I will continue walking up the stairs on the right and I will bang into you and I won’t apologize. So keep right.
3. Keep off the grass. Unless you are a Fellow, there is no reason for you to encroach upon the square.
- If the sun is shining and you want to sit on the grass, do so on College Park. Do not sit on Fellow’s Square. Also, if you want to sit outside and eat, you may do so on College Park (read as, you many ONLY do this on College Park). Food is not to be consumed out of doors anywhere else on Campus and most definitely not on the steps of the Chapel or the Exam Hall; Front Square is not the place for a picnic!
4. The word Berkeley is pronounced BARKeley.
- It’s one of those E pronounced as A words, such as derby; named after George Berkeley. If you can’t get that much right, perhaps you should just call it “the library”.